Are you vibrationally aligned? Do you need to raise your vibration?

What does that mean anyway?

How many times have you read or heard somewhere that you need to raise your vibration to ensure you are feeling good and good things come your way?

If you are interested in self-development I am sure you’ve heard it, but are you aware of what it means? What you need to do to raise your vibration and garner the benefits?

I hope I can clarify it for you. Make it easier for you to understand so you are aware and know what to do.

Have you heard of Law of Attraction? There I go again, question, questions, questions. I make no apologies, that is what I do. Question your understanding. Anyway, Law of Attraction ultimately means like attracts like. Simply put, a positive attitude attracts positive experiences and circumstances while a negative attitude attracts things that we deem negative or unwanted.

And for those of you that are wary of woo woo, let me be more scientific E=MC² – Einstein’s theory ie. Energy = Matter x Speed of Light squared. This means Energy is equal to its mass multiplied by the speed of light squared. Wha???

Simply put, this equation tells us that energy and mass are effectively the same thing – mass is equivalent to energy. They are the same physical entity and can be changed into each other. Extraordinary.

Now, Quantum physics tells us that the atom is the smallest constituent unit of ordinary matter, and they are made up of three particles: protons, neutrons, and electrons, which break down into even smaller units called quarks. Quarks – not quacks. Anyway, these tiny things are not made of smaller particles, but in the purest most basic forms are energy.

Still in physics, energy is a property of objects which can be transferred to other objects or converted to different forms. Energy is in everything. Everything is made up of energy. You and I are made up of energy. So energy exists in things and cannot be created or destroyed, but it can be changed from one form to another. It always has been and always will be. Deep, huh? (Have I lost you yet?Stay with me it will become clear)

Energy constantly vibrates at different speeds causing different frequencies. Energy waves are attracted to other energy waves of the same frequency.

Now this is where I start to tell you that thoughts are vibrations of energy. This is not mumbo jumbo, but a reality that quantum physics has revealed. Our thoughts are vibrations of energy. And as I said energy waves attract other energy waves of the same frequency to make even more of the same energy wave.

Like attracts like. Get it?

Positive thoughts attract more positive thoughts. Positive thoughts – positive energy.

Negative thoughts attract more negative thoughts. Negative thoughts – negative energy.

Okay, so you see now?

So if you’re putting negative energy out into the Universe, that’s what you attract more of.

Time to tell a little story to illustrate the point. My son (who lives at home – but that’s another story) visits his mates in the city often. And he always comes home sick. We were talking about this the other day, and he said it’s all your fault Mum. And you know what? It is. The rest of the family tell him to stock up on vitamins because he’s going to his mates’ place and he’ll come back sick. “You always come back sick”, we say every time. And he always does.  So, this last time we all focused on him returning home fit and healthy. Not one negative word was said. We wished him a great time, and told him to return fit and healthy. And he did. He still went to the same hang outs, ate and drank the same (which would make any normal human being sick to begin with!), slept in the same bed as he always does (or so he told me). And he came back well. And did not get sick later in the week. A miracle! No not really. We just readjusted our focus. Good vibrations.

I’ve discussed mindset before, and I’ll say it again, it’s your mindset that puts you where you are. You want a happier, more joyful life? Then you’ve got to put out happier more joyful thoughts and energy. When your positive energy rises, so does the vibration of every cell in your body. Once you raise your vibration it is easier to feel the less positive emotions and then let them flow through you instead of getting stuck like they have a tendency to do. When we are in a higher vibration crappy things still happen, but we don’t let them get to us -tooo much. It’s easier to deal with.

How to raise your vibration? I’ve gone through this in some detail in Start Kicking Up Your Heels or… Achieving Happiness (don’t have a copy – click here) but in a nutshell (because this is only a blog):

Remove yourself from negativity (as much as you can)

Find things to be grateful for

Look after yourself – eat well, exercise (or move at least), meditate

Love yourself

Raising your vibration isn’t just about being in a good mood, it’s about changing your energy frequency to match that of the universe. When we begin to match with the universe that’s when the magic happens! Like attracts like! Reap the rewards. Try it. You’ll be grateful you did. And remember if you need a hand, I am here to help. It’s what I do.

Start kicking up your heels,

Sam

Has your phone stopped ringing? Do you no longer receive calls from your friends asking you out?

“Ring, ring why don’t you give me a call” Abba’s song reverberates in my head.

Do you stop to think why the calls have ceased?

Okay more questions.

How often do you keep your word?

How often do you do what you say you are going to do?

How often do you keep your agreements?

Always? Often? Normally most of the time? Sometimes? Have you really ever thought about it before?

I recently told a friend that I was going to post a vlog on my Facebook page   http://bit.ly/218WWUc  by this week. I put it in writing, as is the case when you are on Facebook, so I knew there was no going back on my word. If I didn’t keep my agreement, what sort of person would that make me? It may not seem like a big deal, but it is.

Are you aware that when you break your word, when you don’t keep your agreements, you are doing damage to yourself – both internally and externally. Well that’s a bit dramatic, I can hear some of you say – and that’s only because we seem to give and break our word so casually.

But think about it. You don’t follow through on what you said you’re going to do, you could lose the trust, respect and credibility others have of you – whether it is your partner, your family, your friends, your colleagues or your customers. You don’t keep your agreements with others, and eventually they’ll just stop asking you because they know they can’t rely on you. You don’t turn up. You’re late. You’re too busy. You’ve run out of time. The phone stops ringing. That could be to go out and play, to meet up for coffee or a meal, to help clean out the garage, or to get a quote for a new service you are offering. How does that make you feel? Not so great, huh?

It also effects your own self-worth, self-esteem, and self-respect because ultimately each agreement you make is also made with yourself to do something. When you don’t do what you say you will, you create confusion and self-doubt deep inside, you undermine your own sense of personal power.

Okay, there may be some of you out there saying na-ah not me, I always follow through. I always turn up. I’m never late. I always make the time. And if that’s you, then well done. Thumbs up, good on you, you should be well pleased. I am. I am very happy for you.

But let me ask this. What about your agreements to yourself? Think about it. How often have you told yourself- “It’s okay, I’ll go to the gym later”, “It’s okay, I’ll eat healthy tomorrow”, “This really will be my last glass of wine” ?? You’ve made agreements with yourself, but you’ve pushed your goals to the backburner. You keep agreements with others but not yourself. And that’s not fair. You are not valuing your own word, your own commitment.

Here’s the thing: The more you value you, through honouring agreements to yourself, the more value you are to everyone. You believe in yourself, and so will everyone else. You trust yourself, and so will everyone else. And you know what happens then don’t you? You will be happy and joyful -which is all any of us really want to be.

So let’s look at this then:

Be serious in keeping your word with others AND yourself.

Only make agreements you intend to keep – you may have to learn to say NO more often (don’t just say yes to get someone off your back).

Write your agreements down in a diary or a planner so you don’t forget. Did you know that the memory can lose a detail in as little as 37 seconds? 37 seconds!!! So write it down.

Clarify and affirm agreements you have with others and in those instances where something has truly arisen that means you are going to have a broken agreement, contact the other person involved and let them know as soon as you can. Acknowledge you have broken the commitment and renegotiate or recommit. *

It really is not that scary.

I encourage each of you to think about making and keeping agreements as a positive choice that enhances your vitality, energy and relationships which in turn will contribute to the joy and happiness you have in your life. I mean, after all that’s what we all want isn’t it?

So keep your agreements, and kick up your heels. Your phone will keep ringing! Play dates will be made. Coffee will be had. The garage will be clean. And all those quotes you do will be accepted.

If you need help sticking to your agreements, I can help you. Contact me and see if we can work it out. I’m only a click of the button away.

Start kicking up your heels,

Sam

*Oh as a side note – a very important side note, I had to acknowledge my broken agreement, renegotiate and recommit with my friend. The vlog did not get published. Not for the lack of trying. I recorded it, but it was not ready to be published in time. My commitment was there, but unfortunately technology was not on my side. It will be up soon 🙂

With an election imminent, we are continually bombarded with the antics of politicians. And it got me thinking… maybe we could be more like them, take a leaf out of the politicians’ handbook.

What?!!? I hear you yell and scream. Bloody politicians, can’t trust them, can’t believe them, always tooting their own horn. Why on earth would I want to be like them?

Frankly they don’t give a toss what you think about them. Well they do, because they want you to vote for them, but honestly they all think they’re great. They sprout their policies and beliefs to all and sundry. Those that like them stay, those that don’t – ignore them. And really they don’t care. They move on to the next town for their campaign and know they will pick up more sympathisers – oops voters – elsewhere. They have no self-doubt; they don’t have time for it.

And this why my thoughts led me to politicians – they have to be the one group of people with a severe lack of self-doubt (or at least that’s what they show). And that is the page of the handbook that could be very handy.

Self-doubt (from hereon in written as SD) can be very debilitating. It hits all of us at some point in our lives – some more than others. SD is a hindrance that has been put upon us by well-meaning parents- “Oh you don’t want to be a Policeman, that is a dangerous occupation, why don’t you try banking?”, not so well-meaning teachers “Oh you want to be a doctor do you? Your grades will never be good enough”, and others’ ‘well-meaning advice’ that we have listened to throughout our lives.

You are not on your own. People from all walks of life have SDs. From well-known actors and artists who fear they will be tapped on the shoulder and told “you shouldn’t be here”, to business owners and entrepreneurs who have a fear of failure (as well as success) and feel like imposters because they’re struggling with the one million other things they’re not doing at that moment. The parents who fear they’re not good enough when it comes to raising the children, the kids next door who despair “I can’t run/swim/ride a bike…” “I’m too fat/skinny/tall/short…”“I’m not popular enough…”

The doctors, the teachers, the bus driver…

The list goes on.

It is not discriminatory; SD wracks us all at some point. And why does SD always seem to pop up when we want to try something new? “I want to ice skate but I’m too old and what will my kids think?” “I want to visit a nude beach but I’m not skinny enough and people will laugh at me?” “I don’t want kids, that makes me a mean person, oh and what will Grandma think?” It goes on and on.

SD stops you in your tracks from reaching your beautiful potential and living the life you truly deserve.

But it is how you react to that screaming little voice in our head that determines how much SD will affect you. SD is often the underlying cause of procrastination or intense pessimism – “Oh I’m not good enough so I won’t try new things”. However, put to good use, SD can become a motivator. You can use that mean little voice in your head to fuel your motivation to improve yourself. Fight that voice. Become indignant. “Oh you think I can’t do that do you? Well watch me!!”

I have no quick cure to overcome SD, it usually has a tight hold. However, I do have a few things you can try to lessen its grip on you.

Focus on the positive. Find something, anything, that you can look at and think – I did that, I really am good at some stuff. Have you taken a really nice photo and thought wow that looks nice? Have you written a nice email and cheered someone up recently? Did you put those shelves up yourself? Did everyone love dinner that you cooked last night? Did you walk around the block without puffing? Focus on what you have achieved so you can focus on what you really want to achieve – if you let yourself. Counteract those negative thoughts with positive energy. Positive energy goes a long way to kick self-doubt.

Look after yourself, nurture yourself. You need to take care of your own needs – eat well, drink well (water, herbal teas, – I’m not talking alcohol here), look after your body and mind. Be grateful for what you have. I have a journal- in the morning I write 10 things that I love, and at night before I go to bed I write 10 things that I am happy and grateful for. It makes me feel good to start and end the day. Meditate to relax and stay in the present. If you look after yourself, you start to feel good about yourself. If you feel good about yourself, you will want more to feel good about and then you’ll start saying no to self-doubt.

Find support – whether it is from your soul sisters, your partner, friends, family, or a coach. Support and reassurance from others goes a long way to helping fight SD. Sure sometimes they may point out your flaws (with love of course), but usually they rally to support you when needed. If you don’t have this around you, then find it. If all your friends do is find flaws and negativity, gently reduce the time you spend with them, distance yourself. Support and reassurance is the antidote to self-doubt.

Take one small step. I’ve said it, and quoted it over and over again, but all it takes is one small step. One small step is all you need to start your journey on growth. People with a growth mindset see challenges and failures as opportunities to grow; they do not dwell on what might have been. As you grow you will kick that self-doubt to the curb and start climbing mountains.

Now SD will never disappear entirely. It will rear its ugly, mean little head every now and then, but it comes down to how you react to it. How loud you let it scream. You need to turn that “You can’t do that!” to “You can’t do that?” to “Can you do that?” to “You can do that!”

As Sir Edmund Hilary once said “It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves”.

So start conquering. I hope I have given you food for thought. And if you need some help, remember I am here. Contact me so I can help you kick that self-doubt to the curb.

Start Kicking Up Your Heels,

Sam

PS Don’t forget to vote – remember, make it count 🙂

How often do you have conversations in your head that start with “I really should do xyz” but deep down, in your core you really don’t want to?

I’ll bet there were a lot of heads nodding, uh-huh’s going on, and hands in the air. Unfortunately, it is a normal part of a lot of people’s lives.

Although there are times when these statements are helpful e.g. “I should not get drunk and drive home”, more often they can create unrealistic expectations. “I should” or “I must” can put unreasonable demands or pressure on yourself and on others too.

Now, as I said there are times ‘I should’ can be helpful – I mean we all know what we really ‘should’ do in terms of legalities etc., and even then, if you are willing to accept the consequences of what you should or shouldn’t do, then do- or don’t.  But otherwise, in your day to day life, why ‘should’ you?

What is it that makes us ‘should’?

Most times, ‘should’ starts with our need to please others –

“I should go to Law School, Medical School, Whatever School because my mother/father did, their mother/father did and it is what everyone expects me to do.”

“I should like her/him because my parents like her/him and they think she/he will be great for me.”

“I shouldn’t wear that because they will think…”

STOP! STOP!

Can you see the underlying pattern here?

It’s not I ‘should’ do this, that, or the other because I will feel good, it’s I ‘should’ do this, that, or the other because of other peoples’ expectations. It will make them feel better, not you!

What happened to your expectation of your own happiness? Has it become an automatic habit to disregard your own happiness?

Maybe you grew up in a family where your mother did things for other people because she felt she ‘should’, that’s her lot in life (and a LOT of mothers feel like this – sadly). And you have it now ingrained in your psyche that this is your lot in life. You became a people pleaser because that’s what you were shown to do. You should do things to make other people happy, often sacrificing your own happiness in the meantime.

When we people please, when we do what we ‘should’, we are saying YES to others, NA-AH to ourselves. In that moment we are not being true to ourselves.

Now, in no way am I saying don’t do things for others, what I am saying is do things for others if you truly want to, if you’re loving what you’re doing and there’s no little voice going “Oh come on, you really ‘should’ do that because… just ignore how you’re really feeling.” Do things for others because it feels right – right down to your core.

And whilst we are on the subject of should, how often do you place expectations on your friends and loved ones?

“If they really loved me they should do this…”

“If she really liked me she should treat me like…”

“He’s my brother so he should…”

Again, STOP with the should-ing. Let go of your expectations, let people behave in a way they want to behave, and allow them to express their own feeling, wants, needs and ways of being. Wouldn’t you rather someone did something for you because they loved doing it for you – not because they should?

‘Should’ places expectations on yourself and others and can set you up for pain and disappointment, or at the very least a tightness in your belly. So remember keep yourself away from feeling rotten and do things out of love and happiness. Not because you should!

It starts one little step at a time. The next time someone asks you for something you don’t want to give, gently and with love, say “No, I’d rather not at this time.” The first few times you will feel icky – because, hey, that’s how you have ingrained it into your soul – “I must, I must”, but over time and with practice, like anything, it will become easier. Say no to the ‘I shoulds’ and a resounding YES to the ‘I wants’. Treat yourself how you expect others to treat you. Put your happiness in the forefront of the picture.

If this is something you have difficulty with, then contact me. Let’s have a chat and see if I can help you get over your should. And not because you should – but because you want to.

Start Kicking Up Your Heels,

Sam